The Three Virtues of the Computer Programmer:

The quality that makes you go to great effort to reduce overall energy expenditure. It makes you write labor-saving programs that other people will find useful, and document what you wrote so you don't have to answer so many questions about it. Hence, the first great virtue of a programmer.
The anger you feel when the computer is being lazy. This makes you write programs that don't just react to your needs, but actually anticipate them. Or at least that pretend to. Hence, the second great virtue of a programmer.
Excessive pride, the sort of thing Zeus zaps you for. Also the quality that makes you write (and maintain) programs that other people won't want to say bad things about. Hence, the third great virtue of a programmer.

The Three Techniques of the Computer Programmer:
1. Hashing
2. Caching
3. Adding a level of indirection

"C++ is like an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog."
    - Steve Taylor

"It is well-known that a computer scientist working in academia is a machine for turning coffee into publications."
     - Unknown

"The C language combines the power and flexibility of assembly language with the ease and readability of assembly language."
     - Unknown

"Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it."
     - Seymore Cray, on virtual memory

"It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a 'DestroyBaghdad' procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a 'DestroyCity' procedure, to which 'Baghdad' could be given as a parameter."
     - Nathaniel S. Borenstein

"Please don't fall into the trap of believing that I am terribly dogmatical about [the goto statement]. I have the uncomfortable feeling that others are making a religion out of it, as if the conceptual problems of programming could be solved by a single trick, by a simple form of coding discipline!"
     - Edsger Dijkstra

"Software is like sex: It's better when it's free."
     - Linus Torvalds

"Projects promoting programming in natural language are intrinsically doomed to fail."
     - Edsger Dijkstra

"First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack."
     - George Carrette

"You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time."
     - Bertrand Meyer

"Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining."
     - Jeff Raskin

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
     - Pablo Picasso

"Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works, but you don't know why. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why."
     - Unknown

"For every complex problem, there is an algorithm that is simple, elegant, and wrong."
     - Unknown

"Programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute."
     - H. Abelson and G. Sussman

"All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors."
     - Unknown

"At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, one of which is the error of blaming it on the computer."
     - Unknown

"When a programming language is created that allows programmers to program in simple English, it will be discovered that programmers cannot speak English."
     - Unknown

"Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen."
     - E. Berard

"The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time."
     - T. Cargill

"The sooner you start to code, the longer the program will take."
     - R. Carlson

"A most important, but also most elusive, aspect of any tool is its influence on the habits of those who train themselves in its use. If the tool is a programming language this influence is, whether we like it or not, an influence on our thinking habits.... A programming language is a tool that has profound influence on our thinking habits."
     - Edsger Dijkstra

"Besides a mathematical inclination, an exceptionally good mastery of one's native tongue is the most vital asset of a competent programmer."
     - Edsger Dijkstra

"Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes."
     - Edsger Dijkstra

"Testing can show the presence of errors, but not their absence."
     - Edsger Dijkstra

"A great lathe operator commands several times the wage of an average lathe operator, but a great writer of software code is worth 10,000 times the price of an average software writer."
     - Bill Gates

"Never put off until run time what can be done at compile time."
     - A. Glew

"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
     - M. Golding

"Premature optimization is the root of all evil in programming."
     - C.A.R. Hoare

"The fastest algorithm can frequently be replaced by one that is almost as fast and much easier to understand."
     - D. Jones

"Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration."
     - S. Kelly-Bootle

"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it."
     - Brian W. Kernighan

The Best 10 Algorithms of the 20th Century
1. The Monte Carlo Method - John von Neumann, Stan Ulam, and Nick Metropolis
2. The Simplex Method for Linear Programming - George Dantzig
3. Krylov Subspace Iteration Methods - Magnus Hestenes, Eduard Stiefel, Cornelius Lanczos
4. Decompositional Approach to Matrix Computations - Alston Householder
5. The Fortran Optimizing Compiler - John Backus
6. The QR Algorithm - J.G.F Francis
7. Quicksort - Tony Hoare
8. Fast Fourier Transform - James Cooley and John Tukey
9. Integer Relation Detection Algorithm - Helaman Ferguson and Rodney Forcade
10. Fast Multipole Algorithm - Leslie Greengard and Vladimir Rokhlin